I came up through Usenet. I was part of the September that never ended. I learned a lot about being ruthlessly precise when describing a problem. (And how, very often, that precision led to my finding the solution on my own.)
I grew a thick skin. I got involved in open source when it was rare for women to be there. My nick does not include my first name, intentionally.
If that's how things remained, I probably never would have gotten involved in open source. Even at Apache, the Tomcat community (for example) could be rough.
But I was lucky to find Struts, where Craig simply would not tolerate people being mean. Tough, exacting, precise were fine. But personal attacks were o-u-t.